Lorna and Aldrin’s Box

Magpapabinyag ng 3 triplet si Mr. Beetle……………..

Pari: Ano ang magiging pangalan ng 3 bata.

Mr. Beetle: Honda, Toyota, Nissan

Pari: Mali ata, dapat Christian name. Palitan mo ng Christian name.

Mr. Beetle: Father ayoko, yon talaga ang gusto kong ipangalan sa kanila.

Pari: O sige, mamili ka kung anong gagamitin ko sa pagbibinyag ha.

Mr. beetle: Ok father

Pari: O ano mamili ka na, Diesel ba o Gasolina

hehehe

This is a story from University  of  the  Philippines (Diliman)  about a
> young college girl who passed away last   month.
>
> Her name was Aurora. She was hit by  a dumper truck. She had  a boy
> friend
> named Dencio. Both of them were true  lovers. They always  hung on the
> phone.
>
> You could never see her without her  cell phone.  In fact she also
> changed
> her phone from Smart to Globe,  so both of  them can be on the same
> network, and save on the cost and get  good  network coverage. She spent
> half of the day talking with  Dencio.  Summera’s family knew about their
> relationship.
>
> Dencio  was very close with  Aurora’s family. (Just imagine their
> love).
>
> Before she passed away she always  told her friends "If I  pass away
> please
> bury me with my hand phone" she also  said the same  thing to her
> parents.
>
> After her death, people   couldn’t carry her coffin, I was  there. A lot
> of
> them tried to do  so but still  couldn’t, everybody including me,  had
> tried to  carry the coffin, the  result is still the same. Eventually,
> they called a Feng Shui Master. He took a  stick and started  speaking
> to
> himself slowly.
>
> After a few minutes, he said  "this  girl misses something here". Then
> her
> friends told the Master  about her  intentions to bury her with her
> phone.
>
> He then opened the  coffin and places  her phone and SIM card inside the
> casket. After  that they tried to  carry the coffin. It could be moved
> and
> they  carried it into the van easily.  All of us were shocked.
> Aurora’s
> parents did not inform Dencio that  Aurora had passed away.  After 2
> weeks
>
> Dencio called Aurora’s mom.  Dencio:  "I’m coming home  today. Cook
> something
> nice for  me.
>
> Don’t tell  Aurora that  I’m coming home today, I wanna  surprise her."
> Her mother replied….. "You come home  first, I wanna tell you
> something
> very important." after he came, they told  him the truth  about Aurora.
>
> Dencio thought that they were playing  a fool. He was  laughing and said
> "don’t try to fool me - tell Aurora to come out, i  have  a gift for
> her
>
> Please stop this nonsense". Then  they  showed him her grave. He said…
> "It’s not true. We spoke yesterday. She  still calls  me.
>
> Dencio was shaking. Suddenly, his  phone rang.  "See this is from Aurora,
> see this…" he showed the phone to   Aurora,s family. All of them told
> him to answer. He talked using  the  loudspeaker mode. All of them heard
> his conversation. Loud and  clear, no  cross lines, no humming. It was
> the
> actual voice of  Auroraa & there was no  way others could use her SIM
> card
> since  it was nailed inside the coffin.
>
> They  were so shocked and asked for  the Feng Shui Master’s help again.
> The
> Master brought his co-masters  to  solve this matter. He & his
> co-masters
> worked for 5  hours. Then they discovered  one thing…
>
>
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> >
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> >
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> >
>
> >
>
>
> Globe has  the best  coverage. Wherever you go, their network  follows
> ANG LAKAS TALAGA NG GLOBE,, Kahit nasaan ka man !!!
> (hehehehehehehe)!!!  kaya mag-GLOBE na kayo cgurado malayo ang
> mararating nyo!
>
>
>
>
>

To The Philippine Youth

Hold high the brow serene,
O youth, where now you stand;
Let the bright sheen
Of your grace be seen,
Fair hope of my fatherland!

Come now, thou genius grand,
And bring down inspiration;
With thy mighty hand,
Swifter than the wind’s violation,
Raise the eager mind to higher station.

Come down with pleasing light
Of art and science to the fight,
O youth, and there untie
The chains that heavy lie,
Your spirit free to blight.

See how in flaming zone
Amid the shadows thrown,
The Spaniard’s holy hand
A crown’s resplendent band
Proffers to this Indian land.

Thou, who now wouldst rise
On wings of rich emprise,
Seeking from Olympian skies
Songs of sweetest strain,
Softer than ambrosial rain;

Thou, whose voice divine
Rivals Philomel’s refrain
And with varied line
Through the night benign
Frees mortality from pain;

Thou, who by sharp strife
Wakest thy mind to life ;
And the memory bright
Of thy genius’ light
Makest immortal in its strength ;

And thou, in accents clear
Of Phoebus, to Apelles dear ;
Or by the brush’s magic art
Takest from nature’s store a part,
To fig it on the simple canvas’ length ;

Go forth, and then the sacred fire
Of thy genius to the laurel may aspire ;
To spread around the fame,
And in victory acclaim,
Through wider spheres the human name.

Day, O happy day,
Fair Filipinas, for thy land!
So bless the Power to-day
That places in thy way
This favor and this fortune grand !

Translated by Charles Derbyshire

Love of Country

Isang Alaala Ng Aking Bayan

Nagugunita ko ang nagdaang araw
ng kamusmusang kong kay sayang pumanaw
sa gilid ng isang baybaying luntian
ng rumaragasang agos ng dagatan;
Kung alalahanin ang damping marahan
halik sa noo ko ng hanging magaslaw
ito’y naglalagos sa ‘king katauhan
lalong sumisigla’t nagbabagong buhay

Kung aking masdan ang liryong busilak
animo’y nagduruyan sa hanging marahas
habang sa buhangin dito’y nakalatag
ang lubhang maalon, mapusok na dagat
Kung aking samyuin sa mga bulaklak
kabanguhan nito ay ikinakalat
ang bukang liwayway na nanganganinag
masayang bumabati, may ngiti sa lahat.

Naalaala kong may kasamang lumbay
ang kamusmusan ko nang nagdaang araw
Kasama-sama ko’y inang mapagmahal
siyang nagpapaganda sa aba kong buhay.
Naalaala kong lubhang mapanglaw
bayan kong Kalambang aking sinilangan
sa dalampasigan ng dagat-dagatan
sadlakan ng aking saya’t kaaliwan

Di miminsang tumikim ng galak
sa tabing-ilog mong lubhang mapanatag
Mababakas pa rin yaong mga yapak
na nag-uunahan sa ‘yong mga gubat
sa iyong kapilya’y sa ganda ay salat
ang mga dasal ko’y laging nag-aalab
habang ako nama’y maligayang ganap
bisa ng hanging mo ay walang katulad.

Ang kagubatan mong kahanga-hanga
Nababanaag ko’y Kamay ng Lumikha
sa iyong himlayan ay wala nang luha
wala nang daranas ni munting balisa
ang bughaw mong langit na tinitingala
dala ang pag-ibig sa puso at diwa
buong kalikasa’y titik na mistula
aking nasisinag pangarap kong tuwa.

Ang kamusmusan ko sa bayan kong giliw
dito’y masagana ang saya ko’t aliw
ng naggagandahang tugtog at awitin
siyang nagtataboy ng luha’t hilahil
Hayo na, bumalik ka’t muli mong dalawin
ang katauhan ko’y dagling pagsamahin
tulad ng pagbalik ng ibon sa hardin
sa pananagana ng bukong nagbitin.

Paalam sa iyo, ako’y magpupuyat
ako’y magbabantay, walang paghuhumpay
ang kabutihan mo na sa aking pangarap
Nawa’y daluyan ka ng biyaya’t lingap
ng dakilang Diwa ng maamong palad;
tanging ikaw lamang panatang maalab
pagdarasal kita sa lahat ng oras
na ikaw ay laging manatiling tapat.

        Sure, we love our dads, not just for shaping us for who we are but also for the good times we spent with them.I have lots of memories  with my dad which I can still vividly recall…………

Beef Mechado

       He buys me beef mechado whenever he sees me vomiting from eating vegetables. The reason why Beef Mechado is a favorite dish.

Punctuality

       He gets intoxicated when he wake us up for school and no one replies He taught us how to be punctual. The reason why punctuality is never a problem to me.

Palo, Dipa and Luhod

       He do not tolerate misbehavior. In a brawl, all of us will surely have a pakyaw(not manny ha) –palo,dipa and luhod.

Magnolia Chocolait

       He is very generous when it comes to the food we eat and school expenses. In so many years, my father supplies us with Magnolia Chocolait and Magnolia Fresh Milk every night(sky is the limit). That is aside from the cans of birtch tree and dutch milk. The reason why Magnolia Chocolait is still my favorite beverage.(Naku maiinggit nyan si Pogpog)

Encyclopedia and Books

       When I was in elementary, he bought us 2 sets of encyclopedia–Encyclopedia Americana and Young Student Encyclopedia, Webster and  Grolier dictionaries and book of knowledge. That is where we met…Neil Armstrong, Benjamin Franklin, and Albert Einstein

Alak at Sigarilyo

      He consistently tells us that "Alak and sigarilyo" are bad for health. The reason why I have never been drank in my life and never puff a cigarette

Santa Claus

      He make us believe that Santa Claus is for real. Maybe, it’s one of his strategies to develop the sense of goodness in all of us. Mind you, he is a  very generous Santa Claus.

Mag-aral mabuti, di baleng di maghugas ng plato

     He always remind us about the value of education. Everyday he ask about assignments and examinations. Our notebooks were scrutinized.

Playmate

    He is our playmate.When I was seven years old, we were playing hide and seek inside the house. My brother had a bad fall from a douible decker steel bed. A few years later, he was diagnosed with a brain infection called "encephalitis". That time, he was about to represent the school in an academic challenge nationwide. He was replaced by the runner up because he cannot walk anymore. We almost lost my brother. But with God’s loving hand, through a miracle, he survived. At an early age, I saw how unselfish my parents are for selling their properties to cover up expenses in getting the services of the best peridatrician and pedia-surgeon in the country. Now, my brother is a 36 years old, healthy and happy.

Magpakabait

     He always tells us "magpakabait kayo". When I was around eight years old. I have 25 cents in my hand. I spent 15 cents for the "bunutan" in the nearby sari-sari store for three tries. Mang Pepe, gave  a 15 cents as change. Remembering what my father is always saying "magpakabait kayo" , I returned the excess 5 cents. Then, when I opened one of the 3 small papers(raffles), I found out that I won 2 pesos. See…Honesty is the best policy

       These are some of my memories with my dad. He is 62 years old now and does not look like one. And in this special day, I would like to greet him… A very Happy Father’s Day!!!

BETTE MIDLER LYRICS

"Wind Beneath My Wings"

Ohhhh, oh, oh, oh, ohhh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that’s your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I’ve got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
You’re everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?
You’re everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

wala akong magawa ng lunch time kahapon…    

                 Inang Bayan

Ikaw ay nahihimlay sa Timog Silangang Asya

Di matatawaran taglay mong  ganda

Sa likas na yaman ikaw ay bidang-bida

Kaya naman mga dayuhan sayo ay nahalina

Ikaw ay kabalikat ng mundo sa paggawa

Dahil sa mga anak mong manggagawa

Karamihan sila ay nasa Amerika

Ang iba’y sa

Canada

o kaya’y sa

Australia

Di rin mabilang mga anak mo sa Gitnang Silangan

Maging sa Europa ay di napigilan

Sa bawat sulok ng mundo sila ay sandigan

Sapagkat mahuhusay sa iba’t-ibang larangan

Sa aking pagninilay, aking nakita

Sugatan mong damdaming di mabata

Bakit naging mailap ang magandang kapalaran?

Sa pagsulong at pag-unlad, ikaw ay naiwan

Paglaya nga ba ang paglukmok sa kahirapan?

Gayong sa bawat daing ay walang dumating

Mga suliraning lalong naging  hinaing

Mahirap sagutin sa aking paninimdim

Ngunit huwag mabahala aking Inang Bayan

Ang araw ay sisikat sa kinabukasan

Sa pag-ikot ng mundo dala ay pag-asa

Poong Maykapal ang magiging kasama

Happy Independence Day!!! Positive thinking para sa Pilipinas…

How To Please Your IT Dept.

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children’s art. We don’t have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

2. Don’t write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

3. When an IT person says he’s coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won’t be there when we need your password. It’s nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what’s keeping you from getting it. We don’t need to know that you can’t get into your mail because your computer won’t power on at all.

5. When IT support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at once. We’re just testing.

6. When an IT person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

7. Send urgent e-mail all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

8. When the photocopier doesn’t work, call computer support. There are electronics in it.

9. When something’s wrong with your home PC, dump it on an IT person’s chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

10. When an IT person tells you that computer screens don’t have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

11. When an IT person tells you that he’ll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: “And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?” That motivates us.

12. When the printer won’t print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

13. When the printer still won’t print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

14. Don’t learn the proper term for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by “My thingy blew up.”

15. Don’t use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

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